If I change, what do I lose?

"I want something to change, but I don't want to give up what's good in my life to get there."

When I left Wall Street for motherhood, I didn't hesitate. Whatever I was giving up paled in comparison to what I was choosing.

When I left real estate for coaching, I hesitated. I knew how to flow in real estate. I knew how to succeed there. I loved flipping and remodeling houses. I loved the art of the deal, negotiating, putting people in homes they dreamed of. I had years of momentum and a feeling of assurance, of doing something almost effortlessly.

I didn't know how to run a coaching business, and I wasn't sure how what I was offering would be received.

Putting all my time and energy toward something I had no proof of yet meant I could lose time, lose money, lose sight of the bigger vision I was supposed to be leading.

And when I started really investing in myself, weeklong retreats, events that were taking my life in a new direction, I hesitated again, because it meant time away from my kids. Guilt and doubt came up, and I didn't want to make the wrong choice.

I remember a moment of clarity I had at a weekend workshop that a friend invited me to. Everything I heard that weekend echoed what I had been thinking on the inside for a long time, and while I was there, the change stopped being only about me.

It became about the people I would be helping. What I had to offer mattered enough for me to learn what I didn't know yet. I put myself in the right rooms, and I began.

Here's what I've learned since then. The decision doesn't happen once. Life is alive, and the decision has to stay alive too. I re-decide it every day, before every client, before every class.

In a session, someone sees something they couldn't see a moment before. Their expression changes. They take a deep breath. Something clicks inside, and they make a real change right there.

Something lights up in me, too. There's a clarity in my heart and mind. A felt sense of knowing: this is why I do this. It isn't faith. It's certainty.

I call these compliments from life. Not praise from anyone. Life itself, from the inside, confirming the direction.

You may not be asking, "If I change, what do I lose?" Your version might be, "What will I have to sacrifice?"

People are afraid they'll sacrifice their relationships, lose their place in line, give up comfort and what's familiar.

So they keep choosing what they know. But along with what they love, they keep holding themselves back from making the changes they want.

There's so much you could lose that would be a relief.

You can lose the worry, the doubt, the false beliefs that feel like the truth right now because they happened once, to you or to someone before you, and you've been carrying them forward and calling them true. You can lose so much that you feel lighter, brighter, and freer in the ordinary day-to-day of your life.

Try this. Take one minute with a change you've been considering. Say aloud, "I'm afraid I'll lose…" and let yourself finish the sentence. Notice what happens in your body and keep gently breathing as you're noticing.

Then say, "I would be so relieved to let go of…"

Give that answer a little room, too.

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Sending love,
Wendy